freedomthruauthenticity

The reason for this blogsite

2006-01-02T19:58:00.000-08:00

When I first began my spiritual search for peace-of-mind back in the 70's, I (and many of my friends) did a fair amount of what I call "spiritual leaping". Spiritual leaping happens when we innocently want a state of mind, emotions, feelings so badly we try to achieve them through force of will rather than insight. I created this site for those beginning to see that the clarity, purpose, results and personal freedom we seek happen naturally when we become authentic and take responsibility for our experience.

Below are posted two chapters from a book I've re-written in 2010, available in manuscript format and electronically through amazon.com titled Perfect Misfortune - the 2010 edition. Thanks for participating and be well. If you're interested in contacting me, my phone number is 541 389 9781 or you can reach me through my website at www.allanflood.com.

Perfect Misfortune - Chapter 1

2006-01-02T19:51:00.000-08:00

Chapter 1 The Story

"A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice."

Edgar Watson Howe, Country Town Sayings, 1911.

Crisis

Awakening one morning in December 1991, I found both my feet tingling as if they were "asleep." Trying to ignore the sensation, I went downstairs for a cup of English Breakfast tea. By the time the tea was brewed, though, the tingling hadn't improved. I sighed, "Well, Allan, old buddy, here we go again." I'd felt the same sensations five years before after mountain-biking on a hot afternoon, so I knew this new tingling heralded spreading numbness and an uncertain future. Five years before I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis.

The day I was diagnosed with MS, my world fell apart. I had always taken my body for granted and this news hit me like an emotional freight train. My fear was overwhelming. Hiking, skiing and other outdoor activities have always been a big part of my life. I particularly love downhill skiing and have been a ski instructor for the disabled (ironically, it seems to me).

Sensation disappeared first from my feet and then from my legs, the numbness creeping higher and higher up my body. Soon I could barely walk. Unable to feel the ground beneath my feet, I trudged up the same stairs I'd bounded up two steps at a time a couple of weeks before.

In my initial confusion, everything was a source of fear, evidence of the hopelessness of my predicament. For example, when my neurologist used a Magnetic Resonance Imager (MRI) I was preoccupied with the MRI staff’s mood rather than the MRI's magical non-invasive technology. The staff was jovial when I arrived and somber when I left - proof, in my mind, of my doom.

I stopped exercising. Although it probably was a good idea to cut back, my fearful, confused response was to curtail everything. Also, everybody seemed to know someone with MS who was having a really hard time (to this day it amazes me how many people assume you want to hear horror stories about your illness). Only later did it occur to me that those doing well with serious illnesses are less visible.

By now, I know a number of inspirational stories about people with multiple sclerosis, including Olympic skier Jimmy Heuga, who was living proof of the positive effect of exercise and attitude.

During the first few weeks after the diagnosis, I felt 200 years old. Every morning I awoke with the frightening knowledge that this horrible experience was real. Although I felt no pain, MS was stealing sensation an inch at a time.

I made the mistake of looking in The Merck Manual of Diagnosis and Therapy to learn more about MS. Listed in this book of symptoms is every possible outcome of every illness imaginable — what's happened to anybody who's had a disease. Because MS is so unpredictable, it has a long, long list of symptoms.

This period seems unreal to me now, like a nightmare. It was a frightening time and I searched desperately for relief, a source of hope, an answer somewhere, anywhere. Fortunately, in the depths of my confusion and despair, I recalled another period in my life — a happier, quieter time that provided clues for calming me and making sense out of life again.

A Better Time

Back in the mid 1970s, I worked as a mental health trainee in a family planning agency in Eugene, Oregon. As part of a state funded primary prevention program, I and several other trainees learned how to design and present low cost seminars on topics like anger, relationships, anxiety and mental well being. In designing these seminars we were exposed to many different mental health treatment approaches.

The leaders of our project made a point of learning about new therapies. Two of them, Dr. George Pransky and Dr. Roger Mills, after being exposed to the insights of a Canadian theosopher, Sydney Banks, began to see that there was an alternative to the myriad of somewhat successful approaches for treating mental illness and promoting mental well-being. Banks, a blue-collar welder living on Saltspring Island in the Canadian Gulf Islands, had an insight that changed his life and led to the 3 Principles, discussed later in this book. Pransky and Mills began to see that it was possible to achieve mental health and peace of mind directly, without complicated techniques or intense, confronting exercises. Their lives and their practices changed as this new understanding grew.

Dr. Pransky's and Dr. Mills’ seminars became more and more relaxed and informal — a humble sharing of simple facts about life rather than a structured manipulation of participants. These were the years that Mills and Pransky founded and began developing the body of understanding called at one time, clinically, Psychology of Mind and, in the area of community development, Health Realization - discussed later.

Listening to Pransky and Mills, I felt safe, secure and deeply moved. For months after these talks, my life became clear, simple and satisfying. I began to understand that, as human beings, we already have everything we need to be happy and filled with well-being. We don’t have to go anywhere or do anything to find peace-of-mind - it’s inside our own hearts and minds all the time.

This was a happy time for me but I didn't understand, as I do now, what was happening. To this day, I'm grateful for being in the right place at the right time.

Paradise Lost

Shortly after my seminar days, I left the Northwest to work in the family business in Southern California. Over the next decade, the peaceful feelings born in Eugene faded in the hustle and bustle of Los Angeles. Although missing these rich feelings, I never slowed down long enough to ask myself or anyone else where they had gone. My vague discontent wasn't strong enough to overpower what might be called the "momentum" of life in Southern California. I flew all over the country, coordinated a national marketing cooperative and taught skiing to the disabled on weekends.

My life seemed, if not perfect, at least full. I ignored disturbing experiences like airplane flights where I'd stand up, turn around, and find myself looking into a sea of bored, unhappy businessmen in blue blazers - just like myself.

I had come to believe that the best we could hope for was a relatively stress free life with periodic highpoints — the TGIF (Thank-God-It’s-Friday) syndrome. Don't we often think this way? We assume that our experience of life is good enough as long as it isn't too painful and has a few high points. It's as though we think living is, at worst, a matter of survival and, at best, a matter of achieving acceptable control over circumstance. We settle for so little when we can have so much.

Until my MS diagnosis, this approach to living worked for me most of the time. Facing physical collapse, though, my ordinary way of dealing with life broke down. I couldn't power through or ignore what was happening to me. My circumstances seemed out of control.

This limited perspective and understanding couldn't help me find what I really wanted — the deeper understanding I had touched in Eugene and the incredible feelings that came with it. I needed that wisdom and sensed it would reopen the door to richer feelings as well as provide an alternative to my struggle and fear. I also hoped this wisdom would help release my body's ability to heal itself.

The Second Bout Begins

In 1991, my second bout with MS began in the middle of a holiday season that was exceptionally stressful. For one thing, a six year up-and-down relationship that had ended seven months before still troubled me. For another, my family couldn't get together for Christmas and my close friends were all out of town. For the first time in my life, I spent Christmas alone; although it wasn't all bad (our fantasies often exceed the reality), I felt sad and troubled.

Over the previous few months, I tried to convince myself that things were okay but couldn't shake underlying fears — fears, for example, that I was unworthy of a lasting relationship, that I was getting old and that my money would run out before my career got off the ground. These nagging doubts created pockets of painful feelings and, in what I'm certain was my body's reaction to this persistent negativity and dread, my immune system began attacking me.

Slowly losing feeling in my feet and legs, I knew that my MS was active (there are different theories about the cause). The cells surrounding my nerves — the myelin sheath that carries electrical signals and enables me to touch, see, hear, taste and smell — were under attack again. The first time this happened, five years before, I was alarmed. This time, though, much to my surprise, even though the symptoms were worse, I was calm.

The exacerbation didn't particularly surprise me, given the dis-ease in my life, but my calmness did. I simply wasn't afraid - and not only because I had come through an exacerbation before. I knew at a deep level that whatever happened would be okay. I was at peace. My understanding about life had grown since my first MS attack and, in fact, was the source of this calm. This time, I knew where to go for strength and answers.

As MS assailed my body, I recalled the peace I felt earlier in Eugene and felt security, a sense that there was a place inside me — a precious state of mind — that was safe from the ravages of the MS virus. In this place, deep, rich feelings were free for the taking, no matter what was going on with my body or circumstances.

When first diagnosed with MS, I had turned inward to discover what I'd lost. Only five years later, however, during my second bout, did those discoveries make a huge difference in my life.

Paradise Regained

"Only when wounded do we stand still and listen." That sentence, which jumped out of a book at me recently (Ano Ano — The Seed, by Kristin Zambucka), sums up my experience with MS. When first diagnosed, I was profoundly wounded. When the outside world ceased providing solace, I sought answers in a place untouched and untouchable by circumstance. Standing still and listening, I found an ocean of inspiration and strength.

Some people call this part of themselves their inner voice. Others call it intuition, wisdom or common sense. It exists before personality, born of what we are as human beings rather than who we are as individuals. It is our birthright.

No matter how long you've been out of touch with this inner wisdom, the feeling is wonderfully familiar — like returning home after a long journey or rediscovering love in an empty relationship. It's a state of mind and a way of thinking where you are gentle with yourself and at peace.

In our hearts, you and I want the same things in life - we seek happiness and health. We search for these states despite behaviors and attitudes that often seem at odds with the goals. We seek joy in living, even if the best we do is feel a little better or more under control or superior, we seek congruence between our inner and outer lives, even if the best we do is grasp at lifestyles that are over-leveraged and stressful, and we seek health, even though we frequently feed emotions like anxiety, depression and anger, emotions that have been strongly linked to disease.

But, if our basic instincts are to seek well-being, why do we stray so far from lives that are healing as they are lived? Why do we continually lust after, only to reject later, lifestyles and relationships that don't bring us happiness and fulfillment? Why do we compulsively dedicate ourselves to patterns of living that produce dissatisfaction, suffering and illness?

The answer lies in a simple and widely held misunderstanding. We've inadvertently come to believe that the quality of our daily lives, our life enjoyment and satisfaction, comes from what we do and the circumstances of our lives rather than the simple richness of life lived in the moment. This misunderstanding leads us away from lives that are healthy and healing, leads us to crave and grasp at non-fulfilling lifestyles and leads us towards compulsive, strife-filled and illness-filled lives.

The way to recover a satisfying, healing life, filled with freedom and love, is to rediscover the richness of life experienced in the moment. This is what I’ve rediscovered and what Health Realization is about. Health Realization and the work of Sydney Banks offer a set of principles that explain not who we are as individual personalities but what we are as human beings and how to reclaim our birthright to a rich, satisfying life. Health Realization will be discussed in more detail in the next chapter.

A Health Update

In 2010 the physical healing process is well underway. I haven’t had any new MS symptoms for at least a decade. So far, I've recovered about 98% of sensation and have returned to most of my previous activities, albeit less obsessively (it's my poor old knees, not MS, that slows me down now). My faith in the healing power of feelings like gratitude, contentment and joy is strong. Even though MS may occasionally flare up, as time passes my appreciation and understanding of my own healing resources deepen.

Anyone who has been diagnosed with a serious illness or suffered a serious loss knows that it changes you - one way or the other. I've found something that has changed me forever for the better. Although I'll never be grateful for the disease itself, I'll always be grateful for my rediscovery of a connection to life and a way of thinking I had forgotten: a way of thought, a state-of-mind, where there’s hope, healing and happiness even when the world around me and my body are shaky.

Faced with a crisis, I followed in the tracks of others who have traveled a similar path of transformation and discovered a secret — that the real answers lie inside, not in the world. The feelings we truly want — joy, gratitude, contentment and serenity — are there (and always have been there) for the taking.

I believe that, by finding contentment, gratitude and compassion expressed in the biochemicals that are those feelings, I'm releasing a guiding "know how" from my own cells to help them function as best they can. These days, I'm giving my body all the love I have the courage to feel. The love we create is the best tool for helping ourselves when things go wrong.

After my second MS assault, I discovered a reality governed by hope, faith and gratitude. My world is sometimes smaller than it used to be but very, very rich. I remember my first walk after the second exacerbation. Walking down the street, smelling the pine trees, feeling the bright sun and cool breeze on my face and watching the clouds pass over the snow capped mountains, I was grateful and exhilarated, liberated from the circumstances of my life. My capacity to be touched by simple things — cool Formica tabletops, good TV sitcoms, hot soup, blue sky, a snow free driveway — has become a lot stronger.

Now, in 2010, the lessons I learned back then still hold true. I continue to deepen my understanding of the Principles by exploring my own wisdom and the wisdom of teachers and sages, never forgetting that the human experience is most clearly understood and explained by Mind, Consciousness and Thought as discovered by Sydney Banks.

It took the debilitating effects of multiple sclerosis to bring me up short, to show me that my way of life was off track. The insights in the following pages describe my odyssey of discovery. What I've learned as a result of the shake up has touched every aspect of my personal life, relationships and work.

I suspect that you'll recognize yourself and people you know in these pages. It’s my hope that the journey will strike a chord of truth with you — and helps you handle any crisis that comes your way with grace, confidence and growth.

Perfect Misfortune Chapter 2 - the journey continues

2005-12-06T14:37:00.000-08:00

Chapter 2 The Journey Continues

"Man cannot make principles; he can only discover them."

Thomas Paine, The Age of Reason, 1794-1795.

Re-Discovering the Facts of Life

Over the years, I've found that most things are built on a simple core of truth. The essence of skiing, for example, has to do with tipping and pressuring your skis in a balanced way. Atop this core are layers and layers of techniques as well as variables such as snow, physical conditioning, clothing and equipment. In another sphere, the core of a successful marriage is love. Love "resets" marriage. Find love and the details of living with your spouse will work themselves out. In the business world, two adages — "make more than you spend" and "take care of your people and they'll take care of you" — are important to the success of any enterprise, though these core truths are elaborated by a score of management theories. Virtually everything can be boiled down to a few core truths — including life itself, as it happens.

Many years ago, in the seminar business in Eugene, I began to appreciate certain truths of human functioning. My experience over time has corroborated these verities over and over again.

The first truth, as I experience it, is that there is an energy underlying life, a source of life, an Awareness that we experience as creative potential, transcendent intelligence, wisdom or bliss. Our consciousness, our personal awareness manifested through our bodies is an expression of that impersonal Awareness. I believe that we will return home (recede) into that greater Awareness when our bodies finally wear out.

The second truth is that we all have the human capacity to use this energy via a spiritual gift called thought. Thought enables us to organize this underlying energy through our thinking - in images, words and feelings, for example. Thought is the raw material of our moment-to-moment life experience and links us to the source of our deeper wisdom through our thinking.

The third truth is that we all have the capacity to bring our thinking alive via what might be called consciousness or awareness. Consciousness shines its light on thought like a slide projector light bulb shines its light on film and transforms it into experience. Consciousness makes our thinking seem "real". Understanding consciousness is a key to healing, as I’ll discuss later.

These three forces and human capacities provide a structure for understanding everything you and I experience. When I came to appreciate the role these forces play in creating my life, I began to find the feelings I wanted. I expect this process will work in much the same way for you, too.

These forces are incorporated in a paradigm called Health Realization (HR). This paradigm was developed by Dr. Roger Mills in response to his insights about mental health and the mental health field. Health Realization, reflecting core truths about human psychological functioning, has proven to be, over the past two decades, a powerful, positive influence on the people and organizations that recognize their simple, profound verities.

In the following section, I'll discuss the basic core principles of Health Realization because they reflect my own life experience and are a clear, simple, powerful guide to the answers we seek when our lives are knocked off balance. These principles describe psychological and spiritual truths that point us towards health, happiness and healing.

Later on, I’ll also introduce you to a tool and process I’ve found invaluable in understanding more deeply the 3 Principles of Health Realization and bringing them alive in our daily lives.

Health Realization (HR) - a unique contribution to mind/body medicine

Health Realization (HR) is a visionary paradigm based on the insights of theosopher Sydney Banks. It explains all of human experience using three basic principles - Mind, Thought and Consciousness. These three principles are core truths about being human and point, like a signpost, towards the innate well-being and creative potential in us all. The understanding underlying these principles is healing.

Using these principles, HR explains, in simple, practical terms, what we need to know about ourselves to nurture health and well-being in the face of ever-changing fortune and circumstance. The three principles of Health Realization guide us towards states of mind and feelings that eliminate stress and, I believe, promote our natural healing abilities. They guide us towards a perspective and understanding of our moment-to-moment life experience that frees us from insecure, negative thinking and the physiological byproducts of that negativity. As we see our lives in terms of these principles, life gets easier, more satisfying and more healthy.

I believe that our minds and bodies are linked through feelings - the more our minds are at peace, the more positive our feelings and the better our bodies do in the face of viral or bacterial assault. Mind-body research indicates that, for example, when we're content, happy and relaxed, our bodies do their best to mend and stay healthy over the long run. When our feelings are positive, our immune systems seem to do their best to heal us. When our minds are distressed, on the other hand, our bodies have a harder time fighting disease. When we're upset, our immune systems seem to suffer - our bodies don't handle life's bumps and bruises as easily as they might otherwise.

The simple fact that positive feelings promote healing seems innately obvious - our bodies are usually healthier when our minds are happier. What is less obvious, however, is how to find consistent positive feelings and well-being in the face of life's "challenges", daily frustrations, disappointments and stress. Changes of scenery, changes in jobs, diets, exercise programs, new toys, different relationships, drugs, weight loss, weight gain, better grades, different sports, new cars, higher incomes and larger houses bring pleasure, but pleasure short-lived.

Health Realization explains human psychological functioning in a way that helps us generate consistent, lasting, deeper positive feelings and, I believe, better physical health. HR offers a model of what we are as human beings, a model that points us towards happiness and well-being independent of our specific circumstances.

The 3 Principles of Health Realization

1. The principle of Mind - "A universally held ... 'power' source..." (Mills, 1995).

Mind, continuously, via thought and consciousness, creates the appearance of reality. Mind is the formless energy underlying life, Thought and Consciousness (explored below). Mind manifests from within us not only as stored thought - our memories, conditioned learning, beliefs and egos - but also as the fresh, original thinking we experience as insight, wisdom and common-sense - thought that transcends memory and conditioned learning. We all have the innate capacity to manifest Mind in ways that generate positive feelings and well-being.

I believe that Mind (or Awareness), manifesting itself via “open” thinking (discussed below), has the inherent capacity to transform each of us, through Thought and Consciousness, physically and emotionally. I believe that this transformation is inadvertently limited by the very real boundaries of our beliefs and genetics but, being driven by Mind’s unlimited creative potential and possibilities, can transcend these boundaries.

2. The principle of Thought - Thought is defined as "The function that allows human beings to create images within their minds." (Pransky, 1995)

Thought molds our lives and bodies. If we imagine holding in our hand a big, juicy, yellow lemon, feel its coolness, heft and slightly waxy surface, smell its tangy citrus odor, bring it to our mouths and take a big bite, letting the sour juices run down our face, our salivary glands will salivate. In the same way, if we inadvertently bring to life the memory of our parents' angry, accusing words about “being no good” while we're in the presence of our spouses' angry, accusing words about forgetting to put out the garbage (an emotional "lemon"), our bodies produce adrenaline and we feel defensive and insecure.

In both the lemon and garbage examples, it’s Thought (and Consciousness as described below), an image or impression generated via mental activity, that has created the experience that manifests in our bodies. Via thought, we're spontaneous, hopeful, nurturing and practical. Via thought we're fearful, insecure and stressed out. By recognizing that our personal realities in the moment are entirely thought-created, a result of images and impressions we've created in our own minds, we open the door to a deeper understanding and perspective about ourselves. We rediscover our fundamental human creativity. And by recognizing the thought-created nature of experience, we begin our emotional and, often, I believe, our physical healing.

All life experiences come via thought. However, these experiences come via thought in different ways. As I mentioned previously, one way is what might be called “open” thinking. We're all familiar with using this way of thinking naturally when we're enjoying life, relaxed, content and at peace - in the shower, on vacation or doing anything that we love to do. Actually, we enjoy the things we do because we're using open thinking, not the other way around. I enjoy skiing because of the way I use my mind when I ski. You enjoy cooking because of the way you use your mind when you cook.

Open thinking is spontaneous, insightful and creative. Open thinking brings wisdom and common sense. It brings with it the wisdom to do the next common sense thing. We experience this process of thinking as if our thoughts seem to "come out of the blue" - often as insights. As a result, when we're using open thinking our lives have a spontaneous, creative quality - we're often surprised by our own ideas.

Open thinking can be used to balance a checkbook, take a shower, talk with our spouse, climb a mountain, create a business plan, dig a hole, negotiate a raise, scuba dive, wash the dishes and play a sonata. It gives us "perspective" about our lives and circumstances. The insight I need to regain my peace-of-mind after being diagnosed with a serious illness will come via open thinking. The insights I need to adjust my life to the reality of a chronic disease will come via open thinking.

Another way of using thought (and creating experience) is via what might be called "memory-dependent thinking". This way of using our minds means focused, concentrated thinking like a computer, processing memories and massaging information (including beliefs, values, etc.).

In adding 87982 to 34689 in our heads we will likely be using memory-dependent thinking - concentrating with effort to hold a “picture” of the numbers in our minds at the same time we “carry the 1” and add the totals. In trying to make sense out of a scary life experience by processing our memories and imaginations in the face of insecurity, we create stress - a lot of it, as a matter of fact. In large doses, processing thinking is effortful (try to memorize a long poem sometime - even one you love).

Memory-dependent thinking combined with insecurity is deadly. Here are examples of people holding in their minds insecure thoughts at the same time as they try to live their lives and make sense out of circumstances:

1. A man glances in his rear view mirror, sees that the driver behind is too close, remembers when he was disrespected before, judges that the other person ought to be more respectful and becomes outraged.

2. A teenager sits at home on a rainy day, bored silly, unable to think of anything to do or anybody they want to be with.

3. A woman thinks sadly about her relationships, remembering the painful ones. Repeating the same patterns over and over, she always seems to lose the feeling of intimacy she wants so desperately.

4. A young man smiles at angry customers all day, remembers how he felt when he wasn’t at work and can hardly wait until he gets home so he can down a six-pack.

5. A woman gets angry at the cat for leaving hair on the sofa, blames the cat for her feelings and kicks it.

6. An old man looks in the bathroom mirror, remembers how he looked when he was young, sees his wrinkles and despairs that he's getting old.

7. A middle-aged businessman looks back on his life, frustrated that he hasn't accomplished what he's wanted to and judges his life a failure.

8. A wife looks at her husband and wishes, sadly, that he was more expressive, less expressive, thinner, fatter, more social, less social, taller, shorter, etc.

These examples illustrate how processing insecure thoughts creates mental upset. The fundamental mistake that each person in these examples inadvertently makes is turning to memory-dependent thinking when they need to stay open to the wisdom of open thinking. They inadvertently use Thought and Consciousness to make life hard. They cease to stay open to the flowing stream of thought available to them and, in their insecurity, look to old memories and their imaginations. As a result, because of the way they're using their consciousness and thought, their life experience is negative. And the cycle continues.

Open thinking compliments memory-dependent thinking. A few summers ago I was in the mountains, camping. I was sitting around the campfire one sunny morning, drinking fresh coffee, quietly looking out over Lake Paulina, a beautiful, volcanic mountain lake in Central Oregon. As I was pleasantly day-dreaming, reflecting on life, a hawk decided to use my campsite as a hunting ground. I heard a loud "whoosh", looked up and was amazed to see a huge, multi-colored bird swoop by my chair not more than 2 or 3 feet away. After a few moments of stunned awe, I excitedly pulled out the bird book and flipped through the pages, eventually identifying the bird as a red-tailed hawk (memory-based thinking). Then, after a few minutes of reading about the hawk and its habitat, I was drawn back to simply watching it soar and dive, again feeling deep gratitude for the opportunity to watch this beautiful creature (open thinking).

Memory-based thinking is limited in its ability to solve problems of the spirit - problems that require insight, wisdom and perspective. When our health is threatened, for example, we often turn to old habits, memory and imagination to make sense out of what is happening to us. Unfortunately, memory-based thinking hasn't the creativity or information to guide us through the morass of feelings and fears that serious illness can bring. Only open thinking and a different use of consciousness brings perspective, insights, hope and creativity - exactly what we need when life gets difficult.

Open thinking allows the transcendent intelligence of Mind and Consciousness to manifest in a healing way. I believe that this intelligence permeates our bodies, from the molecular level, to tissue, organs, systems and the body as a whole. It appears that underneath the reality we touch, feel, hear and smell lies a fundamental energy that inexorably projects itself outward as "know-how", life and nature - a force that, left unhindered by our own fears, limiting beliefs, opinions, judgments, values, memories, etc. expresses itself in deeper and deeper levels of joy and health.

Mind (or Awareness, or God) manifests as experience in the same way that electricity manifests as toast (burned or perfect). It's possible to use our minds and bodies in a way that doesn't burn the toast - that allows our thinking (and experiences) to flow naturally, unimpeded by the mine field of our fears and memories. I believe that using our minds in this way, via "open thinking", allows Mind to manifest as health and well-being because it opens our hearts.

When first diagnosed with MS, I spent hours driving around the countryside, asking "Why me?" I also spent hours doing research, looking for a miracle cure. Neither helped at all except to show me that I couldn’t find what I was really looking for within my own limited, learned life experience. Now, when anxiety and uncertainty threaten to overwhelm me, an inner voice, an inner guidance (the Witness, described later on) deeper than my fear, calms me like a gentle hand on my shoulder. I depend on this powerful whisper, this reminder to return to open thinking, knowing that the knowledge it carries takes care of my problems. This whisper combined with the practical tool I’ll be introducing later in this chapter are powerful healing allies.

It may seem like an act of faith to depend on a way of using our minds other than the processing of our experiences and memories to deal with "real life" problems. Yet, the fact that most of us surrender to open thinking when overwhelmed by something we can't control — and that the answers we need are always there — makes it worth considering as an alternative. When we surrender, let go, admit we don't have all the answers, something else takes over, something surprising yet familiar — a deeper intelligence, consciousness and way of thinking that we all share but often distrust.

Surrendering to open thinking results in a sense of safety, of being guided, of peace, love and healing power. Open thinking gives us hope, gratitude, joy and common sense. In this state of mind, my multiple sclerosis is a condition to be dealt with rather than an insurmountable catastrophe.

Any personal crisis can create upset, and, despite how it appears, it's the upset, not the crisis, that clouds our inner wisdom. We thrash around during crises because we've lost our faith in this "inner voice", this way of using our minds. And that's a shame, because it's our best defense against the pain of personal crisis. And, by listening to this voice, we find the hope, patience and creativity we need to ease us through our traumas.

We were each born with and created by a transcendent intelligence or “know-how” even before we knew we existed or had self-knowledge. I believe this know-how expresses itself at every level of our being, from the molecular and cellular levels to our fully developed brains. At one level, our DNA and cells know how to interpret and process chemical messages. They know how to build, maintain and protect living tissue. At a higher level, our organs know how to digest food and deal with toxins. I believe that open thinking and the positive feelings it brings enable this know-how to express itself the best it can.

3. The principle of Consciousness - "The function that makes thoughts appear real via the five senses (Pransky, 1995)”. The human capacity that brings our thoughts alive, that makes sounds, images and smells real, that makes the trees vibrant green, the air pungent, the food delicious, our spouses loved, is Consciousness.

Without Consciousness, "thoughts" would never become experience. Consciousness is constant. Whether we're conscious of the trees in the backyard, the pictures in our dreams or our insecure thoughts Consciousness brings our thinking alive. If our thoughts are frightening, our realities are frightening. If we have, however, a little perspective about our emotions and thoughts, if we stay connected to the spiritual reality of life as we do in what I'm calling open thinking, our realities are rich and satisfying.

Consciousness could also be called awareness and can be personal or impersonal. We have personal awareness through our 5 senses, what we see, hear, feel, taste and smell. When our personal awareness isn’t shouting, when we’re at peace, when our mind is quiet, we can also hear the “Witness” which is a more subtle awareness of our awareness, still personal but observing rather than experiencing. The Witness witnesses and records. I experience the Witness as a quiet, background awareness that is simply observing, without judgment, my life as it unfolds. The Witness is with us always. Remembering the Witness can bring sanity and peace back to an insecure life. The Witness offers a quiet place of rest and wisdom.

My personal awareness brought alive through my body and mind leads to the experience “I am here and now doing this and that.” When we’re in the consciousness of the Witness, we have the experience of “I am” without the “…doing this and that”. It’s the experience of simple presence, awareness without content – without thoughts, memories, beliefs, judgments, etc. I recommend the work of the sage Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj and his book I Am That for a deeper understanding and appreciation of the levels of consciousness and the possibility of living life being aware of levels of consciousness beyond the shouting personal level. There is, even beyond my personal awareness and the Witness, Universal Awareness, which is where my consciousness and the Witness come from.

What I know is that the more clarity I have about the sense of presence underlying my personality (the “I am”, as Nisargadatta describes it) and the more I live from the Witness and have faith in Awareness (sometimes called Mind, or Universal Awareness or God) beyond my personal consciousness and the Witness, the better I feel, the more ease I have in my life and the more I am free from fear and stress.

As I mentioned above, the sage Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj has made a huge contribution to the quality of my life over the years. Nisargadatta had cancer, from which he eventually died in 1981. His attitude towards his disease as it progressed and what he knew about his own and the human experience is hopeful and inspiring.

Consciousness, breathing life into our thought-images, creates experiences and the feelings that go along with them. Feelings, as biochemicals, are part of the nutritive bath our cells swim in. And, research seems to indicate that our cells do better, over the long run, in a relaxed, well-balanced chemical bath than they do in an insecure, unbalanced, immuno-suppressing bath of stress hormones.

Consciousness is a gift — a fundamental gift of life and, merged with thought, can bring well-being or despair and the feelings that accompany these states-of-mind. I believe that my immune system responds biochemically to positive and negative thoughts and images, via Consciousness, just as my salivary glands respond to a clearly imagined chocolate cake.

The one-to-one connection between Thought, Consciousness and feelings and the powerful (albeit not one-to-one) connection between feelings and health suggests to me that, for the sake of our bodies, we ought to spend as much time as we can in open thinking rather than processing old memories or new fears.

Waking up, or seeing Thought's fundamental role in creating our moment-to-moment lives involves remembering the fact and power of thought and consciousness. Our "awakeness" ebbs and surges with our moods - when we gain and lose perspective about our experience of the moment. When we're in low moods and "asleep", our worlds are dingy and compellingly real. And, as in sleeping, the key is to wake up.

Many years ago, I had recurring nightmares about being chased by wolves. These nightmares ended when, in the middle of a dream, I told myself, "Allan, this is only a dream." I woke up, immensely relieved and never had the dream again.

Waking up to the reality and power of open thinking and consciousness, the truth of the Witness and Universal Awareness is like waking up from a nightmare - a nightmare created from memory-based thinking, insecurity and consciousness misused and misunderstood.

The Mind/Body Connection - What does the research say?

Our bodies do well when we let them. The know-how represented by the trillions of specialized cells, the hormones and neurotransmitters, the DNA and genetic information enclosed by our skin is awe-inspiring. By feeding our bodies what they need, nutritionally and emotionally, we empower them to do their best, to use this remarkable know-how to keep us healthy.

The immune system is the body's primary way of combating assault from disease and toxins. Psychoneuro-immunology is the study of the connection between the mind and the immune system. Research in the field points more and more strongly towards a body-wide, all-inclusive connection between what we think, how we feel and our health. Books written by physicians turned mind/body experts are gaining in popularity, their authors in high demand as speakers.

At the currently accepted and limited level of scientific understanding, the mind/body connection is modeled as follows: a stressor (death of a loved one) results in a psychological state of mind (depression) which affects immune system function (lowered T-cell activity) which results in physical health problems (cancer).

Or, in a positive way — an event (a relaxing day at the beach) results in a psychological state of mind (calmness and serenity) which affects immune system function (increased T-cell activity) which results in improved physical health (cancer cells destroyed).

At this point in our scientific understanding of the above connections, researchers say that the link between these components is correlational rather than causative. Just because "B" follows "A" most of the time doesn't mean that "A" causes "B". A stressor (an exam, for example) affects different people differently, so a stressor alone (a final exam) won't always cause a particular state of mind (anxiety). Also, a particular psychological state of mind (depression) may or may not suppress immune system function and certainly isn't predictive of the exact degree of suppression. And, finally, of course, even though our immune system may be suppressed (lowered T-cell activity), that doesn't mean we'll catch a disease.

Research on human subjects is fascinating and relatively consistent. Following are examples of ties that have been discovered. If a specific reference hasn't been cited supporting a connection, I refer the reader to Kenneth Pelletier's review of the literature in the American Journal of Health Promotion, 1992. Research links immune system suppression and the activity of various immune system components to sleep deprivation, final exams, bereavement, unemployment and depression.

Other studies show a tie between stress and our body's vulnerability to infectious diseases including cancer, allergic diseases and autoimmune disorders. Still other research links disease to specific factors like depression, loneliness and hopelessness.

Research on psychosocial factors links a higher risk of cancer later in life (three to four times) with emotional distance from parents, and unsatisfactory personal relationships. Lack of community support and close relationships have been linked to arthritis, tuberculosis, hypertension, schizophrenia and depression, coronary disease and general mortality rates.

Personality factors like non-assertiveness, the inability to express emotion, and hopelessness have been associated with cancer. Rheumatoid arthritis has been correlated with perfectionism, compliance, subservience, nervousness, restlessness, reserve, and anger. Cardiovascular disease has been associated with Type A behavior.

Although there's some doubt whether we can enhance our immune systems beyond a normal "baseline", I submit that, due to the fact that our lives can feel stressful much of the time - that stress has become the "norm" - our "baseline" of health, our innate potential for healthy functioning, is much, much higher than we think it is.

The following have been shown to have a positive effect on the immune system - progressive relaxation and guided imagery, hypnosis, positive attitudes, humorous and humanistic films. Hypnosis, by itself, has been shown to reduce contact dermatitis, heal viral warts, shift immunomodulation with mental imagery, and reduce allergic skin reactions and allergies to dogs.

Regarding psychosocial factors, community support and warm relationships have been linked to better health and lower absenteeism, lower incidence of cancer and heart disease, and reduced hospital stays. The closeness of marriage partners is correlated with health. Research indicates that healthy individuals have positive relations with their parents during childhood, strong self-esteem, optimism, lack of depression, and an ability to cope with stress.

To summarize, evidence supports the fact that we can affect our health, both positively and negatively, by changing the way we feel, by increasing our ability to cope with stress (which reduces negative feelings) and by increasing our sources of positive support, positive feelings and sense of security. Research continues to add to the evidence that our minds and bodies are intimately connected, part of a communicating, cooperating whole, filled with know-how, rather than two separate entities. By understanding the mental, emotional and spiritual functioning of our minds, we open the door to physical health and well-being.

Summary Discussion - Health Realization and mind/body research

Our minds and bodies are intimately linked through feelings. I believe that the more we manifest open thinking in our daily lives, the more positive feelings we'll have and the healthier we'll be. As discussed above, current research supports the fact of the mind/body link. The Three Principles of Mind, Thought and Consciousness guide us to a philosophical perspective and understanding about life - a knowledge that I believe nurtures the positive, healing aspects of the mind-body connection.

The Truth of A Deeper Intelligence

When I was first diagnosed with MS, I spent hours driving around the countryside, asking "Why me?" I also spent hours doing research, looking for a miracle cure. Neither helped at all except to show me that what I was looking for could not be found within my own limited, learned life experience. Thrashing around emotionally in a desperate search for solutions has never helped — listening to the inner wisdom available via open thinking has.

We're all different people in different situations with differing problems and circumstances, but the underlying cause of and antidote for our distress is the same - a reconnection with our spiritual nature.

As a budding engineer and systems analyst, I was trained to believe that answers always lay in better/more analysis and information. Occasionally analysis holds the key, as when we know ALL the variables of our problems, but, when we don't know the variables, when the unknown enters into our distress, memory-based thinking will lead nowhere and the answers will come via open thinking and wisdom.

Reading, attending workshops and consulting experts only goes so far when the foundations of our lives are shaken. When this happens, in the face of circumstances that rearrange our lives, we need perspective about ourselves, not more information. We need wisdom about life, not more awareness about the details of our personalities. We need to turn inward, not outward.

Facts and skills offer temporary relief, as it becomes apparent that we can no longer manipulate our circumstances for relief or happiness. The numbness persists, the tumor continues to grow, persistent old mental habits like worrying or being negative rise to the surface again.

Besides seeking new/more/better information, we also tend to call on strategies that have worked in the past to solve problems in the present — "It worked before; it'll work now." Or we try to stick the problem out, deny it or power through it. Or we ignore it. These approaches may work with the routine tasks and bothers of life, but they seem inadequate against to deal with major trauma.

It may seem like an act of blind faith to depend on guidance other than our own memories, our own personality-generated, learned values and beliefs to deal with "real life" problems. Yet, the fact that most of us surrender to a deeper, internal, wiser world when overwhelmed by something we can't control — and that the answers we need are always there — makes it worth considering as an alternative. What happens as we let go is that a deeper consciousness manifests itself and opens the door to a way of using thought we all share but distrust as a source of answers, It’s more subtle and quieter than the personal consciousness (the “I am so-and-so, here in this place, at this time doing this and that” consciousness) we’ve come to depend on for solving problems.

Surrendering results in a deep sense of safety, of being guided, of peace, love and healing power. A deeper intelligence, wisdom, bobs to the surface whenever we let go, clear our head and stop trying to control the world with our ego. The answers always lie just around the corner from the heart-felt admission that we haven't a clue, that we just don't know what to do.

When we discard the mental flotsam and jetsam of our mind locked in the frenzy of being right or in control, our lives become clearer, simpler and richer. In this state of mind, multiple sclerosis is a condition to be dealt with rather than an insurmountable catastrophe. When we’re living via open thinking, when we’re in touch with what might be called our deeper side, our spiritual nature, we’re content and happy.

Personal crises create upset, and, ironically, it's the upset, not the crisis, that clouds our inner wisdom. The crisis is a stimulus, not a cause. We thrash around during crises because we've lost our faith in open thinking, the inner voice. And that's a shame, because this deeper process is our best defense against the pain of personal crisis. There we'll find the feelings of hope, patience and creativity that we need to ease us through our trauma. With wisdom about life — faith that open thinking will bubble up when we let it — the doors to this wiser, happier side open and life makes sense again.

One redeeming value of MS is that my physical symptoms set off alarms the instant I start comparing and judging myself through my ego. The twitch, the tingling are little physical nudges, elbows in my awareness, so to speak, telling me to pay attention to the way I'm using my mind in the moment.

As faith in open thinking proves its worth and we come to depend on our inner resources for answers, something wonderful happens: our problems ease across the board. Why? Because the circumstances that we experience as problems, whether small or of crisis proportions, are "problems" because of the way we experience them, not because they are innately distressful. I'm reminded of how quickly animals adapt to disability. A three-legged dog is just that - a three-legged dog. It's not a four-legged dog missing a leg that can't run or have fun anymore.

Our own imaginations can be our worst enemy. A circumstance without insecurity and the memory-based thinking to lock it in is a situation rather than a tragedy. Without fear to lock our problems in place, they fade like nightmares in the light of day. The solution is nothing more than the willingness to surrender to the consciousness and way of thinking and wisdom that sheds light on our problems.

Wisdom and Genius Released

A benefit of connecting with open thinking and its access to wisdom is an influx of creative genius. This wisdom tells us what to do next and gives us the flexibility to change our minds if our actions don’t serve us or life.

Creative genius doesn't have to be spectacular (and in fact it isn't most of the time) - just a product of fresh insight. For example, last summer a friend and I were driving in the mountains. After being stopped by a construction flagman, a yellow jacket flew in the car window. We jumped out of the car and watched the bee beat furiously against the rear window, trying to escape. As I imagined the bee's frustration at seeing freedom without being able to get out, it suddenly occurred to me that the bee was trying to get to the light. Instantly, I knew that it would abandon the window if I created darkness there. The car doors were already open so I took off my sweater and draped it over the window in front of the bee. Without a moment's hesitation, it flew away from the darkness, towards the light and out the open door on the other side. Not earth-shaking but a fresh idea.

This creative genius helps us do the next common sense thing in dealing with our condition or illness. Rather than being driven by insecurity to seek ill-advised treatments, for example, it might be better to slow down and consider a broad range of internal and external solutions. Maybe what we need is an internal shift in the way we understand our lives rather than a magic pill. Fear and creative genius don’t work well together.

Feelings and Thought

Contrary to what you might expect, our thoughts (as words, images and feelings) tell our senses what to experience. Consciousness will bring alive anything and everything we think. For example, I recently purchased a large molasses bran muffin to take on a picnic. As a molasses lover, I eagerly awaited sinking my teeth into this huge, gooey confection. Driving along the highway, I couldn't stand it any longer and partially opened the cellophane wrapper. Breaking off a large muffin chunk and popping it into my mouth, I waited for the rush of rich molasses flavor. To my dismay, the rush never came. Even though the muffin was deliciously moist, the molasses was weak and some parts were undercooked, soft and mushy. Arriving at the picnic spot, I read the label on my muffin. Much to my surprise, the molasses muffin wasn't molasses at all — it was chocolate chip. The mushy spots were, in fact, nice big chocolate chips. I had another taste and, sure enough, this was a great chocolate chip muffin.

In this "muffin" story, my thoughts (in the form of expectations) determined my physical experience. A similar situation happened to a colleague of mine who inadvertently used frozen tangerine juice to make what he thought was orange juice. Before he realized his mistake, the taste shock caused him to consider rushing to the hospital for food poisoning. This kind of surprise doesn't happen often, true, but the fact that it happens at all shows how our everyday reality, our experience of life, is created by our thoughts from the inside-out.

If I expect my symptoms to be debilitating, they will be worse than they have to be. When first diagnosed with MS, I expected to be disabled, felt disabled and acted disabled. Be wary of your expectations, they have a powerful way of becoming real. In fact, via Thought and Consciousness they inevitably become real.

Memory - Servant or King

We store vast amounts of information in our brains. Everything we experience winds up in memory. Every image, sound, smell, texture, value, opinion, judgment, expectation and belief we've experienced or learned from birth to this very moment is saved in this most marvelous of processes.

Some memories are useful reminders about how to do things — like speak English, unplug the drain, drive the car, tie knots, bake blueberry pancakes, ski, spell and remember our address. Memories tell us to be careful around fire, take water when we go hiking and put gas in the car before the gauge registers empty. Other memories, memories of abuse, memories of being publicly humiliated, memories of being hurt, failing, etc. create problems when kept alive via memory-based thinking and insecurity.

Memories are stored thought and, like all thoughts, they come alive as feelings only when we give them attention. We have memories that can make us angry and sad, as well as memories that can rekindle open thinking and a deeper level of understanding through the positive feelings they evoke. Trying to replace a bad memory reborn with a positive thought doesn't work — at least not for keeps — though it can help distract us for awhile. Memory-based thinking and insecurity cannot lead us to open thinking unless, of course, we turn away from memory-based thinking out of disgust or desperation (or, of course, wisdom) - in which case open thinking automatically kicks in.

Affirmations don't work very consistently because the very same state-of-mind and consciousness that's creating the lack is reciting the affirmation. The way of thought that tries to change us is the same way of thought causing distress. When the distraction wears off, in the absence of understanding, we're innocently drawn back to the way of thinking underlying our original angst as surely as an undertow inexorably pulls a swimmer out to sea. It's like putting buckets under a leak when we really need to stop the rain. Stopping the rain is simpler than it may seem; with understanding - a little perspective about our own feelings - by not bringing negative thoughts to life by feeding them attention, by forgetting them, the storm subsides and the sun emerges. Human beings are naturally positive in the absence of negativity when they live in the positive stream of thought accessible through open thinking and their ability to change consciousness.

I'm not implying we should repress or suppress negative thoughts. That's as silly as pretending a mosquito bite doesn't itch. It gives them more life. It's the PROCESSING of thought and not recognizing the level of personal consciousness that is feeding our thinking that causes our chronic distress even more than the content. Frightening thoughts are frightening only as we bring them to life via Consciousness. And we tend to hang onto frightening thoughts only when we forget to use the deeper levels of consciousness that are available to us.

The thoughts and feelings we deny or repress because they scare us heal naturally in the light of understanding and acceptance. The deep intelligence available to us in open thinking brings perspective and self-compassion. We’re able to heal when we’re using open thinking and we're not afraid of our own thoughts and emotional reactions to life.

Thoughts without attention are like seeds without water. What freedom it is to know that our fears and moods can pass if we let them! What glorious freedom to know that the ugly realities you and I live in when we feel shaky can be temporary, if we allow them to be. It turns out that our problems are problems because of our level of consciousness, our state of mind, our misuse of thinking. This wonderful insight has the power to make life rich again — filled with hopeful, positive feelings despite our circumstances.

The quality of my life is entirely up to me as I seek to meet my core human needs (discussion below). By accepting myself and my experience of life in frightening times and by being unafraid of my thoughts and emotions even in the worst of times, open thinking, my spiritual connection to life, enables me to feel good again. When I was young, I swallowed a penny. My mother rushed me to a physician who calmed her down by predicting the coin would pass through me harmlessly. After two days of searching diligently through you-know-what, sure enough, out popped the penny.

When we accidentally "swallow" a negative thought, bringing it to life as a negative emotion, a healthy state of mind passes it naturally and harmlessly. But, even if the "thought attack" grows into a humdinger, the healthy part of us recognizes it for what it really is — just another thought scaring the heck out of us. This understanding gives us the perspective to drop the thought and feelings when it's time and move on. Just as our healthy body knows how to pass the penny, our inner wisdom knows how to deal with and heal negative thoughts and feelings.

Trust the Process

Many years ago, at the Health Realization Annual Conference in St. Paul, Dr. Roger Mills, almost as an afterthought it seemed, quietly made the statement “trust the process”. This phrase has stuck with me for years. It describes a way to live and, I believe, a way to heal.

Here’s a simple exercise to illustrate what I mean by trusting the process - next time you have the opportunity to play a musical instrument play it slowly, one note at a time. You’ll experience the creative power of Mind, Thought and Consciousness bringing something brand new into the world - the next note.

In this musical exercise, notice how the process of discovering the next note feels, how the note “occurs” to you, how spontaneous and open you are. Notice how good it feels when the note is the right one (there are many right notes) and how obvious it is when it isn’t. One note leads to the next, and the next - a flow of notes from the unknown, life unfolding - a spiritual process.

This musical process demonstrates the simplicity of living well by letting the wisdom of the unknown unfold in the present. In the case of playing the harmonica it’s the flow of this note and the next but it could as easily be this feeling and the next, this insight and the next, this word and the next or this experience and the next - it’s the process that’s the joy, a process that’s both psychological and spiritual, a process we can trust to make life extraordinary.

Being open to the next note of our lives, so to speak, being comfortable with the unknown, promotes healing. Research shows that there is a link between what we believe, how we feel and our health.

Long-term stress can suppress our immune system and cause hypertension, body aches and pains, psoriasis and stomach problems. Deeply accepted suggestions (hypnosis) can make warts disappear, make us allergic to harmless substances and give us immunity to toxic ones. And, as in the case of remarkable recoveries and spontaneous remissions, our feelings and beliefs create miracles. The link between beliefs, feelings and health is not a direct cause and effect but the link is there, none-the-less. It behooves us to respect its power.

Research on the connection between stress and health indicates that by generating the emotions of stress we generate the physiology of stress as well, with its negative and immuno-suppressing effects. And, conversely, by relaxing and reducing stress, by generating the positive feelings of contentment, joy and relaxation we generate immuno-enhancing substances and processes.

It seems to me that there are two primary connections between our minds and bodies (both via Thought and Consciousness). First, there is the connection between our feelings and our health (through stress and relaxation) and second, there is the connection between our strongly held, heart-felt beliefs and our health. Of the two connections, the belief-to-health connection is particularly interesting to me. A heart-felt belief is a thought but a thought backed by the conviction (more Thought and Consciousness) that the thought is true, that it reflects something real. A heart-felt thought, as a conscious thought or a deeply held belief about life, is a powerful force - there is room for miracles or, as Sydney Banks, Theosopher, has said “life in perfect motion”.

We can and do affect our bodies through what we believe, sometimes dramatically. Hypnosis, relying on our accepting suggestions at a deep level, has been shown to cause accelerated wound healing, inflammation, increased or decreased blood supply, and increased body temperature. Hypnosis has been used to heal warts and dramatically change allergic sensitivities. Our ability to affect our health through the power of suggestion is demonstrated by the placebo effect as well, when, for example, sugar pills alleviate pain. In one study, 30% of patients who were told they were getting chemotherapy and were, instead, given a neutral salt-water injection lost their hair - a common side-effect of chemotherapy. Another way that our deeply held beliefs affect our health is through negative mental habits like worrying and defensiveness. These habits are powered by insecurity and deeply held beliefs. Chronic worry seems to be driven by the heartfelt belief that losing control of circumstance is innately threatening. Chronic cynicism and self-righteousness seem to be driven by the heartfelt belief that life is personal, that my circumstances always relate to me.

Beliefs like these and a lack of understanding of the inside-out nature of life cause us to trust the process of our own fear-driven thinking and memory rather than the wisdom that Universal Awareness can bring. One could say that negative mental habits are born of a psychological process and that the solution - wisdom - is spiritual. Our deeply held beliefs sometimes commit us to lives filled with sour notes. As we begin becoming conscious of an awareness deeper than our everyday awareness, our psychological processes take care of themselves - like a self-cleaning oven - and the notes of our lives become more harmonious.

In the book Remarkable Recovery (Hirshberg and Barasch, 1995), the authors identify four stages that appear common in cases of spontaneous remission - these are crises, catharsis, congruence and connection. Looking at these stages from the understanding of Mind, Consciousness and Thought, I believe that they reflect a deepening wisdom about life, from the letting go of old limiting beliefs to the natural integration of our inner and outer lives.

When we "trust the process", when we live in the moment, manifesting the wisdom of Universal Awareness in our bodies and minds in a positive way, our minds and bodies work in harmony to keep us healthy. Knowing how the three principles - Mind, Consciousness and Thought - work in our lives as a spiritual process helps us be less frightened by our own thinking and more open to positive, deeply held beliefs like “It is in my nature to be well.” Universal Awareness acts to know itself through our minds and bodies. We could consider ourselves the “limbs’ of this Awareness and that expression can be wonderful.

As we are freed from our negative psychological processes and turn inwards towards the spiritual, we hope for and more easily accept positive health outcomes and our own healing self-suggestions. We are more open to the next positive "note" in our lives. We’re more able to recognize and let go of those beliefs that don't serve us.

So, trust in the process of wisdom unfolding, believe in your heart that it’s in your nature to be well and let the notes of your life bring you health and happiness.

A profound spiritual tool

“If one is estranged from oneself, then one is estranged from others too. If one is out of touch with oneself, then one cannot touch others.”

- Anne Morrow Lindbergh

I wrote Perfect Misfortune in 1999, updated it in 2006 and again in this 2010 edition. The title of this chapter is “The Journey Continues” and truly, the healing process is a journey and it continues.

The human experience understood through the 3 Principles seems common sense to me. It’s apparent to me that we are creating our realities using a fundamental Awareness (the principle of Mind) from what we think (the principle of Thought) using and bringing that thinking alive (the principle of Consciousness). However, although I’ve known about, reflected on and written about the 3 Principles for decades, I’ve watched myself and others struggle with accepting them at a level deep enough for lasting, personal change.

It seems to me that the gap between believing intellectually that the Principles are true and the reality of living moment-to-moment in a natural, unselfconscious expression of that understanding is uncomfortably large for most of us – including me. We yearn for the peace and freedom that knowing “we’re making it all up” would bring and, yet, we struggle with the ups and downs of our daily lives. We want so badly the freedom and peace that would come from a deep recognition of the Principles working in our lives and yet we continue to use Mind, Consciousness and Thought to create dis-ease. Our beliefs are not knowledge born of deep insight.

I’ve been searching for a way to bridge the gap above, to bring the insights that would deepen my understanding and bring more ease to my life. About 3 years ago I discovered a tool and process that helps me live in the moment, make healing decisions and be more open to the simple and profound truth of the Principles.

The tool is a 4-step process developed by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg (clinical psychologist, internationally recognized mediator and founder of Non-Violent Communication) in his efforts to disseminate peacemaking skills worldwide (see www.cnvc.org for more information about Rosenberg’s work and Non-Violent Communication). The process evolved from Dr. Rosenberg’s lifelong interest in peace and his global rubber-meets-the-road mediation and conflict resolution experiences. Dr. Rosenberg works with educators, managers, mental health and health care providers, lawyers, military officers, prisoners, police and prison officials, clergy, government officials, and individual families. This process he’s developed in over 30 years of mediation work resolves differences and conflict at personal, professional, and political levels as well as frees up creativity.

I’ll share this process and tool with you in the hope that it’ll help you bridge the gap I described above in the same way that is has for me. I also hope that your interest in the tool is stimulated so you’ll explore it further. The understanding underlying this process has greatly reduced the stress in my life, improved my marriage and relationships and helped me accept the truth of the 3 Principles at a deeper, more healing level.

Although the 3 Principles are inherently technique-free (techniques are limited since they work at the personal level of consciousness) and the 4 steps are techniques, I’m recommending them as a spiritual tool. I’ve discovered when we use feelings and needs to connect with ourselves and others in the way they’re used in Non-Violent Communication they are deeply transforming and, in fact, lead to a better understanding and acceptance of the 3 Principles. These four steps, as I’ll explain, especially steps 2 and 3 described below help us to be consciousness of our spiritual nature and, as such, lead to a deeper understanding of the Principles.

Rosenberg’s Non-Violent Communication process, developed over decades of work with people in confrontational and highly hostile environments, has four basic steps. They are:

1. to observe without judgment,

2. to identify your feelings,

3. to identify your core needs and

4. to make a doable request.

As you might imagine, Rosenberg has found that each step of the process is an important aspect of making decisions, reducing conflict and communicating with others. It works like this:

1. When I see a problem or situation without judgment (step 1),

2. And I understand and acknowledge with clarity my emotional reaction (step 2),

3. And I understand clearly how my reaction is connected to deeply held human needs (step 3) and finally,

4. I’m able to make an affirmative request for the behavior that will likely meet my needs and others’, I’m connecting to myself and others at a deep level (step 4),

The outcomes of using this 4-step process are:

… I stay connected to myself and others and am naturally drawn to meeting my own and others’ needs,

… I’m more able to take responsibility for creating my experience in the moment,

… I’m better able to choose strategies that solve my problems and meet my needs in life-serving ways,

… my life and relationships get easier and more satisfying, and finally,

… I create my moment-to-moment experience from a deeper consciousness than I might otherwise.

I’ve discovered that learning and taking to heart the 4-step process breaks us loose from old thinking habits that don’t serve life. I’ve used the process with business owners, couples and the homeless with great success.

The reason the process works is because it’s based on a truth about us – we all have core human needs and we try our best to meet them. When we’re more clear about these needs and have a language to express them we tend to be more life serving. Needs are an expression of what is “alive” for us in the moment. They anchor us to the present and, as well connect us to deeper human dimensions (discussed below).

However, after working with the process for over 3 years, I’ve come to believe that, although the 4 steps are important in total because they change the way we perceive the world, make decisions and act, the heart and soul of Rosenberg’s 4-step process are steps 2 and 3 – becoming aware of our feelings and becoming aware of our core needs, developing what might be called “needs consciousness”.

Step 1, observing without judgment, takes remarkable wisdom and perspective. Step 4, making a doable request to get our needs met with empathy and clarity requires skill and a connection to ourselves and others. Both of these steps are important in communicating and connecting with others. However, that being said, I’ve found steps 2 and 3, identifying our feelings with clarity and identifying the core human needs (also with clarity) that underlie our feelings to be profoundly transforming and a key to a deeper awareness of, understanding and acceptance of the 3 Principles.

Needs – the expression of what is alive in us in the moment

Rosenberg discovered that human beings always try to meet their core needs, no matter how dysfunctional the strategy is that they’ve chosen. The alcoholic who drinks seeking peace of mind, the driver who screams at the driver of the car following too close to get respect, the homeless felon who robs convenient stores to be free and independent, the business executive that ignores quality to accomplish their goals are all seeking to meet their basic human needs using strategies with high personal and social cost.

I was the lead grant writer for the Bethlehem Inn (a large, regional homeless shelter) for about a year. While there, I worked with many residents who tried to meet their needs with strategies that didn’t work. The strategies they chose eventually caused them to burn through their social, financial and human capital, leaving them homeless.

For example, I recall one resident who had been jailed a number of times for robbery and couldn’t hold down a job. It turned out that the core value, the basic human need, driving his decisions over the years was to be autonomous, to be free. He robbed stores because it gave him options. He quit jobs to avoid feeling trapped. In other words, in trying to meet his basic value of autonomy, he made decisions that came with great personal and social cost. Realizing this helped him create strategies that met his needs in a way that made his life a heck of a lot easier and more satisfying.

On the next page is a list of universal core needs (from www.cnvc.org). If you look at the list and reflect, you’ll see that you’ve made most of the decisions you’ve made in your life to meet one or more of these core needs.

For example, two needs that have been important over the years to me are purpose and safety. I’ve always been attracted to work that “calls” me and have often been risk-adverse. I’ve missed many an opportunity because I was anxious and it wasn’t “me”. If I had been consciously aware that my anxiety was coming from my unmet need for purpose and safety, I would likely have made different decisions and been more courageous. My MS diagnosis has caused me great anxiety not because of the disease itself but because the symptoms and diagnosis didn’t meet my needs for security and order. MS is a stimulus, not a cause for my stress. My unmet needs are the actual cause of my anxiety and fear.

A “need” is created from Mind, Consciousness and Thought, just like every experience. A need is special in that, as an expression of what is alive in us in the moment, it grounds us to ourselves and orients us not only inward, but inward in a way that connects us to a deeper consciousness. It takes us out of our heads and into our hearts. When I “remember” what unmet or met need is driving my feeling, I am reconnected with myself, taken out of my head and the judgments therein, and given back my perspective and openness to life.

Core Human Needs (from The Center for Nonviolent Communication, www.cnvc.org)

CONNECTION

Acceptance, affection, appreciation, belonging, cooperation, communication, closeness, community, companionship ,compassion, consideration, consistency, empathy, inclusion, intimacy, love, mutuality, nurturing, respect/self-respect, safety, security, stability, support, to know and be known, to see and be seen, to understand and , be understood, trust, warmth

PLAY

Joy, humor

PHYSICAL WELL-BEING

Air, food, movement/exercise, rest/sleep, sexual expression, safety, shelter, touch, water

HONESTY

Authenticity, integrity, presence

PEACE

Beauty, communion, ease, equality, harmony, inspiration, order

AUTONOMY

Choice, freedom, independence, space, spontaneity

MEANING

Awareness, celebration of life, challenge, clarity, competence, consciousness, contribution, creativity, discovery, efficacy, effectiveness, growth, hope, learning, mourning, participation, purpose, self-expression, stimulation, to matter, understanding

Marshall discovered that people generally are unaware of and don’t have a language for either the feelings they’re having or how their feelings are caused by unmet and met needs. Understanding these two aspects of our experience and becoming aware of feelings and needs can be transforming as it connects us deeply to ourselves and each other and enables us to consider strategies and solutions that would have otherwise not occurred to us. I encourage you to investigate further Non-Violent Communication as a tool to reconnect your with yourself and heal.

If I know I’m worried because of a symptom that might be caused by MS and also know with clarity that fear is coming from my unmet needs for safety, sustenance and health, I’ll be more creative than if I’m reactive or paralyzed with fear. I can ask myself the question, “I am scared and right now what can I do next to meet my need for safety, sustenance and health?” rather than, “I am freaking out, what in the heck do I do and who or what can I blame for this mess?”

Needs open a door to wisdom and perspective. By simply asking myself, “What specific needs of mine are being met or unmet in the moment causing me to feel the way I do?” I take my focus off the world as the cause of my experience and remember a different awareness about life, an awareness that looks at my issues with fresh eyes. I hear the Witness - that awareness within me that observes my life and experience without judgment.

Feelings – perfect indicator of needs met or unmet

One of the tenets of the NVC 4-step process is that feelings come from needs either met (positive) or unmet (negative). Below is a list of feelings, both positive and negative. When my need for safety is unmet, I’m scared. When my need for safety is met, I’m creative, at peace and relaxed. When my need for respect is met, I’m confident and friendly. When it’s unmet, I’m angry and disconnected.

Rosenberg discovered that most people have a poorly developed language for feelings. This makes it difficult to identify clearly the need driving the feeling. For example, in the past my feelings language included basic words like sad, depressed, happy, stressed, mad, frustrated, worried, etc. I didn’t have a language that was rich enough to be clear. The list of feelings on the following pages is from the website for The Center For Nonviolent Communication (www.cnvc.org). Find a feeling and I think you’ll discover there are many ways to describe that feeling that are more clear than happy, sad, depressed, angry, stressed, etc.

Feelings when your needs are met (from The Center for Nonviolent Communication, www.cnvc.org)

AFFECTIONATE

Compassionate, friendly, loving, open hearted, sympathetic, tender, warm

ENGAGED

Absorbed, alert, curious, engrossed, enchanted, entranced, fascinated, interested, intrigued, involved, spellbound, stimulated

HOPEFUL

Expectant, encouraged, optimistic

CONFIDENT

Empowered, open, proud, safe, secure

EXCITED

Amazed, animated, ardent, aroused, astonished, dazzled, eager, energetic, enthusiastic, giddy, invigorated, lively, passionate, surprised, vibrant

GRATEFUL

Appreciative, moved, thankful, touched

INSPIRED

Amazed, awed, wonder

JOYFUL

Amused, delighted, glad, happy, jubilant, pleased, tickled

EXHILARATED

Blissful, ecstatic, elated, enthralled, exuberant, radiant, rapturous, thrilled

PEACEFUL

Calm, clear headed, comfortable, centered, content, equanimous, fulfilled, mellow, quiet, relaxed, relieved, satisfied, serene, still, tranquil, trusting

REFRESHED

Enlivened, rejuvenated, renewed, rested, restored, revived

Feelings when your needs are not met (from The Center for Nonviolent Communication, www.cnvc.org)

AFRAID

Apprehensive, dread, frightened, panicked, petrified, scared, suspicious ,terrified , wary, worried

DISCONNECTED

Alienated, aloof, apathetic, bored, cold, detached, distant, distracted, indifferent, numb, removed, uninterested, withdrawn

SAD

Depressed, dejected, despair, despondent, disappointed, discouraged, disheartened, heavy , hearted, hopeless

CONFUSED

Ambivalent, baffled, bewildered, dazed, hesitant, lost, mystified, perplexed, puzzled, torn

YEARNING

Jealous, longing, nostalgic, pining, wistful,

DISQUIET

Agitated, alarmed, discombobulated, disconcerted, disturbed, perturbed, rattled, restless, shocked, startled, surprised, troubled, turbulent, turmoil, uncomfortable, uneasy

EMBARRASSED

Ashamed, chagrined, flustered, guilty, mortified, self-conscious

VULNERABLE

Fragile, guarded, helpless, insecure, leery, reserved, sensitive, shaky

PAIN

Agony, anguished, devastated, grief, heartbroken, hurt, lonely, miserable, regretful, remorseful, unhappy

TENSE

Anxious, cranky, distressed, distraught, edgy, fidgety, frazzled, irritable, jittery, nervous, overwhelmed, restless, stressed out

AVERSION

Animosity, appalled, contempt, disgusted, dislike, hate, horrified, hostile, repulsed

FATIGUE

Beat, burnt out, depleted, exhausted, lethargic, listless, sleepy, tired, weary

The recession is causing many of us to make decisions we thought were inconceivable a few years ago. I’m talking about decisions like whether or not to declare bankruptcy and walk away from our homes. I’m talking about whether or not to keep our struggling business afloat or whether it’s ethical to stop paying the mortgage, save the money and buy another house before our credit goes bad. Understanding needs and feelings helps get through these challenging times.

For example, if I decide, totally on my own, to walk away from an upside-down mortgage to meet my deeply held core needs of freedom and autonomy ignoring my wife’s and family’s need for communication and respect, I will create unnecessary conflict. It would best serve my marriage and family exactly how I felt about the issues and which of my own and my family’s needs are met and unmet by the walking-away strategy before I act alone. Mutuality, a shared sense of cooperation and communication, will be crucial as my family decides our future. By understanding my own and my family’s needs I open the door for a family collaboration that brings us closer together. As a group, we may even decide to do something entirely different – hang in there for a short-sale, do a foreclosure, continue to pay the mortgage and wait for the market to turn-around and other strategies than meet all of our needs rather than just mine.

For another example, if I‘m having a serious cash-flow problem and am severely stressed, it helps me to know that my anxiety is coming directly from an unmet core need, in this case to be competent. That unmet core value is, in fact, the direct cause of my anxiety and worry. It’s my fearful judgment that the cash-flow problem is caused by incompetence that drives my stress. In this case, the problem is very real but my angst, the painful part of the situation, comes from my unmet core value, not the problem itself.

Between MS and recession-related employment uncertainty, life can get scary but it helps greatly that my unmet needs hold a key to what to do next. I know that my needs are sustenance (how can I make a living with the economy in the dumps) and safety (what if something happens to me and I lose my health coverage or MS comes back). Seen through the eyes of the 4-step process, I experience the issue like this:

· “What exactly am I feeling? Is it dread, worry, fear or some version of these?”

· “What specific need of mine is not being met right now causing that feeling and how can I best meet that need in a life-serving way?”

· “What are the common-sense actions I can take next and strategies I can come up with to meet my need for sustenance and safety?”

The reason this process works is because, by focusing on core needs and feelings you’re re-connecting with your internal resources by accessing a different level of consciousness and shining that fresh light on your issues. I’ve learned to trust the process in all issues, whether they’re health or relationship or just general life issues. It works with couples and individuals, business owners, the homeless, alcoholics and addicts, husbands and wives. It works as a strategic planning tool and as a way to stay centered and at peace in the middle of pandemonium. I recommend it highly (www.cnvc.org).

So, how does understanding with clarity your feelings and core human needs help bring the 3 Principles more “alive” and real in your day-to-day life?

There seems to me to be a deep connection between core human needs and the 3 Principles. I look at it this way – needs are our experience of connecting or yearning to connect with the Universal Awareness that is our source. My need for purpose, or empathy, or authenticity or play is an expression of Awareness manifesting through my body and mind. My body and mind enable me to experience that Awareness and met needs are that Awareness translated through me as a human being. As I forget that Awareness, I tend to create a world filled with unmet needs and negative feelings.

As we become more conscious of our own core needs and the core needs of others we “remember” the commonality of the human experience as well as recover wisdom and a deep connection to life and Mind. Remembering is deeper than believing. Remembering is more true, more real than believing, rationalizing, hoping or wishing. The experience of remembering our deep connection to each other and the fact of our spiritual nature is empowering and brings peace.

When I remember (rather than think, intellectually rationalize, hope, believe or wish) that my anxiety (about life, job, marriage, health, whatever) is coming from my unmet human need for spiritual union or sustenance I am much more able to step back from my fear, hear the Witness and remember who I am as well as find strategies that serve me and the other people in my life.

I look at the process of becoming a human being like this:

First, there is Universal Awareness (the principle of Mind) manifested in every living thing. Plants, animals and human beings are a manifestation of Awareness expressing through physical form. My body and the rhubarb plant on my porch are a manifestation of Awareness. My body and mind are the limbs of Awareness.

Second, this Awareness becomes the sense of presence you might call “I am” through your and my physical body and mind. We become “self” conscious or “self” aware. The link between our “self” awareness and Awareness has been called the Witness, or our awareness of our awareness. The Witness has been described as a neutral observer of our experience.

Third, as we become “self” aware, we experience life through our thoughts, feelings and five senses and fall in love with our identity. The dream is born and seems real. The principles of Thought and Consciousness enable us to create our separate realities. We experience “needs”.

A need met (such as compassion, empathy, creativity, security, connection, etc.) and the resultant positive feelings are our experience when we’re remembering our connection to Awareness. Negative feelings come from a need not met, when we forget our connection to Awareness, become insecure and get caught up in the mind, body and consciousness-created dream. Anger, jealousy, depression, stress and hopelessness are examples.

Needs provide a practical signpost and path to meet our yearning to re-connect with Universal Awareness. Recognizing needs opens our hearts. The pure experience of Awareness is bliss, boundless love and peace. Needs open the door.

How needs relate to healing

1. Knowing about our own and others’ needs connect us to ourselves, brings us alive and opens our hearts to connect with others who experience life through the same miraculous process. Being disconnected from ourselves, in our heads, judging and reacting to life, causes stress and, as I discussed previously, stress can exacerbate or cause disease. The Non-Violent Communication process is a powerful tool to understand how Universal Awareness manifests as experience via Thought and Consciousness.

2. Needs help us remember where we come from – our fundamental spiritual nature – and provide a signpost and pathway to the rich, real, internal world of our personal consciousness and impersonal Awareness so we more easily remember our source. Needs help us remember that our experience is coming from within, not from the outside. Recognizing and holding closely our needs is healing.

3. Needs help us make sense out of the way our lives have unfolded – unmet and met needs lead to feelings that determine choices, actions and results. Every decision I’ve made and action I’ve taken – ill-advised or not - has been done to meet a need. How refreshingly simple! This definitely reduces stress, since our lives make sense again.

I’ve found that needs and feelings have the capacity to open us to a deeper level of insight and consciousness about who we are what it means to be human. I hope that by exploring and using this powerful tool you’ll be more easily able to bring alive the 3 Principles and remember the creativity and love that is your birthright as a conscious being.

2005-12-01T16:04:00.000-08:00

Allan Flood